Christmas & Babies

Christmas is an interesting topic that I've spent quite some time thinking about recently (as may be obvious). Some think Christmas is a Christian religious holiday, and right they are, but in my family we don't really celebrate anything religious with it. In my family Christmas means something different. It doesn't mean stories of Jesus or going to mass, or any other religious things. It's simply the one time of the year that's really special because we get to go see my mother's side of the family. Despite the fact that I do argue with them quite a lot I love this side of my family and I love family in general. If I had my way I would always be around family, but since I only get two times of year for that (Thanksgiving and Christmas) these two times of year are really special for me. As I learned this year Christmas is also a very special time where we teach our children some very valuable lessons. These lessons are about giving to others, thinking about others, pausing a minute to not think about yourself so much, be happy with what others give to you not because they are things that you really want (because sometimes they aren't) but because they were things that someone else spent time thinking about you for. These lessons came up for me this year because it seems for my husband this is something he hasn't ever learned (as he doesn't celebrate Christmas). He is good about thinking about me and getting me wonderful gifts, that's not it. He just doesn't want to stop buying things for himself or thinking about himself at the same time. He doesn't mind buying things for others but he doesn't understand that this is the one time of year when we don't buy things for ourselves because we hope and imagine that those things will be given to us by those around us. I'm not sure if that really makes much sense but I think it's a special gift that Christmas teaches us.

As for babies I've been doing a LOT of thinking (as you can imagine). I really like the way Dr. Sears talks about bringing babies up. Attachment parenting, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, having the birth that I want, these are all really important things for me. But Dr. Sears is good about explaining to me that I have to wait to see if these are things that work best for me and my baby. Even if they are ideals for me they may not be ideals for my child and I have to remember that. Don't worry, I know I won't be having children any time soon but that doesn't mean I can't think or do research.

Babysitting

So apparently Chinese men don't baby-sit and consider it an insult to even be asked to baby-sit. This is not something that I knew before and while I don't know many American men that baby-sit I do know that it would not be considered rude to ask one to baby-sit and I do know some American men who do baby-sit.

I just asked my husband if he would be willing to help a woman out who needs a Chinese teacher and baby-sitter from 3-6pm on Mondays (she would be willing to pay). I can't do it due to time constraints and didn't think it insulting to ask as it may even help his English.

So this is the explanation that I received (written by a Chinese woman so excuse the English):

I have to say it Chinese men will not be paid to do baby sitter. Usually in North men don't do house work and don't do baby sitter. They think it's a thing wowen would do. Even if they don't have a job they would not chose to be a baby sitter. But if the kid is their own kid it's different, they might take care of their own kid. In South men do house work and take care of their own kid. but they don't do baby sitter.